Back in Black

Hello all,
Yes it has been quite sometime since I made an entry.   I was having a real roughtime.  I did my 4th step with a therapist and took my psychic crap as it were.   I won't lie it felt great to get everything out in the open and take a good honest look at it and tell someone else where I have failed to be a good person.   I still didn't feel the spiritual transformation and psychic shift that the AA literature promises.   I was left with  that empty hole in my heart I tried to fill up with alcohol and drugs.   Long story short I used again and lost 2 whole days of my life I will never get back.   I didn't get in any trouble or do anything stupid besides the obvious.   I got right back to my meetings and told someone of my fall.   The shame and diisappointmentt that goes with breaking a long string of sober days is enough to make you never want to show your face at any meetings ever again.  Now I know why they say that those with many many years of sober living never come back if they go out.   I know where I went wrong and my thinking that caused my fall.   I will get into that in subsequent posts   I just wanted to be honest with everyone and not go back to being secretive and living in the dark with my shame and pain.  Thankyou for listening to me rant.
Steve